It'll always be like, ten plus eleven at night, when everything is still. When there will be no one on the sidewalks and when only an occasional taxi zoomed past you. When it's just me and my mp3.
I find the crisp night air refreshing, and the gentle breeze will always be toying around with my hair. Occasionally there will be a drizzle, but I don't care. it's almost a romantic experience, really. There is just something so charming about the night.
The street lamps casts sinister looking shadows everywhere, the trees rustle their leaves meanacingly. The dark sky seems to be reflecting what I'm feeling, and the moon shone brightly, as if tellling me that there will always be a silver of light shining at the end of a dark tunnel. The stars blinked at me, telling me that they will always be my campanions and they will guide me through it all.
That is when I blast rock music to mask the silence of the streets. that's when I start to reflect on the lyrics and the rhythmic thumping of the drums, the angry strumming of the guitars. That's when I start to think.
Yesterday Chris and Wei Peng were telling me about how angry my blog sounded, how it seems as if everybody is against me.
In short, it's me against the world.
I guess that's how any angsty teenagers on the street battling with puberty feels, huh? With all those raging hormones and mixed up feelings, it's no wonder that we become basketcases sometimes. I don't think it's just me alone feeling all these. I'm sure the people sitting around me in class are feeling just as stressed. i'm sure that punk kid who sat beside me on the bus is feeling just as screwed up as I am. I'm sure that the sulky kid I just walked past is feeling just as frustrated as I am about life.
And I don't know why all these is happening. I mean, for goodness's sake I am just a fifteen year old girl trying to survivie the big bad world. Is it too much to ask that you leave me alone and let me figure out what's right and wrong for myself? Will it really kill you to explain why are you all doing this to me? Will you die if you don't talk behind my back and critisize me for just one day!?!?!
But I guess...that's how life is. Like what I learnt during ELDDS yesterday. You can't have everything you want your own way. Sometimes you have to totally give up control of what you want.
I don't know, I'm confused. About everything. Maybe when I get older, as time pass by, eventually I will. But not now. And it's frustrating me. But I guess all these will get me ready for whatever obstacle life throws at me later on.
I'll survive, I think.
Hard days made me Hard nights shaped me I don't know they somehow saved me And I know I'm making something out of this life they call nothing I take what I want take what I need they say it's wrong, but it's right for me I won't look down Won't say I'm sorry I know that only God can judge me
And if I make it through today Will tomorrow be the same Am I just running in place And if I stumble and I fall Should I get up and carry on Will it all just be the same
Cause I'm young and I'm hopeless I'm lost and I know this I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say I'm troublesome I've fallen I'm angry at my father it's me against this world and I don't care I don't care
THE girl
Sophie Hong
15 going on 16
28 dec
ROCK CULTURE
Piss off if you don't like me, I won't grieve over the loss
